Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Learn Chinese From Me

Basic sentences in English with Chinese Translation:

When you spill tea on your lap you say..
C: tee on mai nee

How do you invite someone to your marriage?
c: Du cum to mai dum dum dum.

How do you say it when you need to attend nature's call?
c: Ai wan tu go tu loo tu poo.

A donkey is little or no growth of brain is called..
c: Dum don qi

When you come across across something disgusting.
c: Chee chee waah

When someone has not bathed for days you say
c: yu stin kin lyk dung

How does the baby say when it is hungry
c: quan quan

How do you say that you are hungry
c: Mum mee ai wan mum mum

When a ruler of a country is smitten with a girl
c: king yees sai ting

Bird is called
c: sum ting wit wing

When you bid farewell to friends you say
c: tah tah bai bai si yu

When a cute guy does you a favour you say
c: Cho chu weeet

Any doubt pls feel free to ask

(inspired from something I read somewhere)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Why does the Hole Vada have a hole in it?

a)To distinguish it from the Bonda
d)To put a finger through it so that you can conveniently munch at the sides.
c)To increase the surface area for quick cooking.
d) It has copied the marketing tactic of Polo- The Vada With a Hole.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Do-It-Yourself Nose Surgery.

Tired of your old ,probably deformed,nose... get a new one with Coco's Beautiful New nose clip.
Walk around with this clip and you can accelerate the nose-altering process.Just a few months of torture and you can have that dream schnozzer or your nose might just drop off due to restricted blood flow-Nose-altered anyway.Japanese breakthru technology now at your doorstep ...right on your nose.Why bother with Rhinoplasty? Just put up with looking like a drainage cleaner who forgot to take the nose-clips off.

This one is only for little noses(not fair).But what more it is 'Stink proof'

Go straighten that deviated septum of yours n get raving reviews on your nose!
Wish michael Jackson knew this product.. could've saved a lot of money.Hey what's with the Nasal pop genre.

Use Nose-up today.. and keep your nose full of happiness.Hurry-up! You could be the first person to die of chronic-breathlessness.

Next Product Endorsement: Nostril enlargening strips. Coming up.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


The clouds,they are the same
as I left them in my country.
They are my clouds.
and so the ocean’s liquid melody.

Seeking refuge we have arrived
homeland denied
If only we have the power
to pull out the threads and start over.

My motherland’s bosom tastes of blood
may the peace rest in deathbed.
A cancer they say,of the rascist mind
the panacea only destiny shall find.

Farms there harvest lives
Plants bloom bombs
Autumns shed heads
Cradles rock towards tombs.

fires and sirens
have long replaced the nightingales
Rising black smoke
have shrouded our holy temples.

O Sun,your attempts are but futility
to cast golden beams of hope
upon rising on our dead city.

O Wind,if you could please give a hand
Take away the souls from half-dead bodies
as you sweep past our land.

O Seas,keep sending waves to our shore
wipe our peoples’ tears
and the blood and the gore.

Isn’t it the same air we breathe?
and the same barren earth beneath?
would a language dare throw us apart
when we learn to speak from the heart?

Seeking refuge we have arrived
homeland denied
If only we have the power
to pull out the threads and start over.

The shirts are wearing our bodies
candles weep wax tears with us
makes no difference to no one
If we dont return.
Is this a promise of a new home
and probably some hope?

It is raining
the clouds,they are crying!
After all,my clouds they are
just the same everywhere.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

It's my moon...

As I stood propped against the parapet wall of my terrace,I could feel the gentle breeze caress my face.The sun had just just accepted defeat and dissappeared into the western skies.I stared at the enveloping darkness of the sky as the night was slowly veiling in and I could feel my thoughts wheeling back to those times when my head could barely reach the parapet rim.

All those stars were little diamonds studded across the sky." One day I'm going to pluck them all and hide them under my pillows", I'd promised myself then.Imagine the shock that would've come upon me when my fifth grade book informed that stars are colossal masses of fire,times bigger than our sun and not the small pretty diamonds as they seem to be.I'd been enlightened that never will I be able to pluck stars.I was dissappointed.

Then I was in for the next shock- The-One-Moon-For-Everyone theory.How could that possibly be true?Everyday after twilight games all of us take our own moons and run across the grounds,through the streets with that heavenly balloon tagging along with us.Then I'd carefully secure my moon behind the bars of my window beside the bed.But the science 'miss' seemed pretty sure about it.

The skies were not just big blue umbrellas.The beast that fed on the moon got extinct.Rains no longer poured from showers entrenched in the skies.My sun did not sleep under the depths of the bellowing sea.

Time had flewn me from a world of fascination to one equipped with answers and geared with facts.As the truth was coroneted,the charisma was exiled.Science had destroyed the splendor.We become a victim of a timeless journey and somewhere along the way we lose our juvenile innocence.

Thoughts swirled back to me and I missed something that had seemed so trivial before.I looked up at the empty beauty of the night.The moon had by then undraped its nimbus stricken profile.I tried to locate that old woman on the moon but only void craters jeered back at me.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

What is all this fizz about?

Little drops of joy- a captivating tagline, claiming to offer a second of satisfaction, an instant of happiness and a bubble of hope with every sip of coca cola one takes.Behind that joyous, dewy cool facade lies something more hideous than the phosphoric acids and pesticide content that we know of.A little bit of browsing through revealed how coke is on its heel, heaping atrocities on the developing countries of the world.

Coca cola, a U.S based multi-national company and a political product of it's domination and global sucess, has it's straws down in Indian wells siphoning away much needed water.Recent news read that so much water was being pulled out for the manufacture of the drink that the sites with bottling plants, and the villages around,from uttar pradesh to kerala, are left with little water to drink, cook and wash.The condition is even worse in Mexico where coke has accounted for land privatisation program that allowed free access to all the resources on the land, including water.And it seems it needs four litres of water to produce one litre of tasty-tasty coke.Need of the day!

Coke does not directly employ child labor.Not violating the law, and by it's own guiding principles coke only buys sugarcane from the fields of El Salvador which employs around 5000 to 30,000 children,some as young as 8 years.Sugarcane farming, from what I know, is one of the most hazardous of practices.One is bound to sustain several injuries and health hazards, inspite of experience.Imagine what plight little children will have to undergo. Some children also get to miss school during the harvesting period.

At colombia, the killings of union leaders at Coca-Cola's bottling plants has evoked truths about the company taking paramilitaies' help to threaten and harass its union leaders.Columbia is a country already famous for its paramilitaries belonging to its self defense forces itself who treat trade union leaders like pests taking their lives in dozens every year. Claims show that the company benefits from paramilitary violence and is also one of the orchestrating powers of right-wing paramilitaries.

Big Cola is a famous mexican cola company, now under rapid supression from coke.Market positions in Mexico are taken by power and the retailers are put under immense pressure not to sell rival drink Big Cola. Coke also has found a brilliant niche market in there that is made to believe cola induces burping, which releases the evil from the soul!

Denials and evasions are all that comes from the company's side of the story.Coca cola is just the parent corporation that markets the drink.So,technically coke is not produced by a single global company, but a global network of bottling companies that are either wholly or partially owned by Coca cola.That gives coke reason enough to elude the enlisted abuses and keep up the high-value brand name.

For some reason ,I feel,coke gets picked up first against its more conservative cousins.May be its the extensive ad campaigns, costly brand ambassadors, or simply for the cool dude/dudette image it creates.Whatever it is,coke may well be your favourite soft- drink but for many ruralites clean water is still their drink of choice.You can spare them some by refusing a bottle of the not-so-healthy fizzy pop!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The race and the routes.

Sorry, I have no time to introduce myself because I'm running a race- a race to see who comes out on top over everyone else.I'm not sure since when I've been running but I've been running ever since I started running.Hardly can I see a destination, but I will keep running with nowhere as my endless destination.

Is this what I really want? Well.. I dont know.Just as we all want to be on top I want my little moment in the spotlight.And you have to be in the number one spot simply to survive, and survive that I must.Therefore I will run. There are routes, though limited they are. High pay, medium pay, low pay jobs.Tech job, softy job, management job. MS abroad- ambitious universities, good universities, ok-ok universities. MBA- Top tier business schools, B-grade business schools.And that is my domain and I'm not to run outside the boundaries.I need to run to continue living in the “status quo”, do-what’s-expected-of-you lifestyle that’s got me this far.

Dreams? Oh yeah... I had a few...but.. Why take a chance on a far-flung dream (that may fail!) when you could follow a formulaic pattern that leads to an already determined – and hopefully successful – conclusion.Why think beyond the circle when the circle is so self-sufficient?It has been set and treaded upon.That alone is the legal track for the race and you lose if you step out.Being money-minded is practical. Dreams are mere illusions,they lead you nowhere.See something that works and stick to it, don’t fix what isn’t broken! That's how you got to be in the race and that's why I'm running.And yeah...Hi! I am... just another rat!